I peed already... where's my parade?

Potty training. The joys.

Perhaps we are a bit ahead of the curve here, seeing as the sprout is only 18 months old. But with the whole EC thing, it just seemed like he should be potty trained. And I hate (repeat HATE) changing diapers.

About a month ago we did something I swore I would never do. We bought a child's toilet seat for our toilet. We have a potty and it's a no go. The sprout's feet touch the floor and up he gets and starts running around the bathroom. And he's getting too heavy to hold over the toilet. So I went out and bought an infant potty seat.

First of all, if you want a potty that isn't covered in some disney character smiling back at your child's ass with the words, "Way to go!!" printed on it you are shit out of luck. Well, almost. But you really have to look for the plain boring ones that scream, "I'm a cheap bastard and it's obviously going to take me 18 times as long to potty train my child because he isn't trying to pee on Dora."

But I did find one. Tucked away behind the bright pink barbies and toronto maple leaf blue thomases. It was only a little dusty, blue with a white seat. A white squishy, cushy seat. The dude calls it the posh toilet. The sprout now pats his toilet and says, "posh" while he has a wee.

In an attempt to use positive reinforcement we clap and cheer when the sprout does his business. Sometimes we give high fives. Sometimes we jump up and down and do little twirls... errr... okay I only did that once. And then I fell in the bathtub. We stick with clapping now.

Only the sprout has decided that he's going to call the shots while he's on his thrown.

me: little sprout do you need to go pee pee?

sprout: taps diaper dry!

me: okay, let's go to the bathroom!

sprout: taps diaper dry! dry!

me: taking off diaper You are dry! Let's go go go! run into bathroom and deposit sprout on posh toilet

sprout: bum! (means sit on your bum on the edge of the cold metal bathtub, mummy)

sprout: pats toilet seat posh!

me: do you need to go pee pee?

sprout: stares off into space

sprout: psssssssssssssssssssssssssss

me: Yeah!!!!!! initiates clapping

(much clapping and cheering ensues)

sprout: Hug!

me: ummm... sure... kneels down and gives the sprout a hug

sprout: bum! (go freeze your buns some more on the cold metal bathtub)

sprout: daddy! bum! points next to me on the bathtub

me: daddy travaille (my pathetic attempt at teaching him french)

me: fini? all done? signs "all done"

sprout: signs "all done"

sprout: wipe! points behind him to the pile of cloth wipes on the back of the toilet

me: are you sure you're all done?

sprout: WIPE! (damn it woman, listen when I tell you what to do)

me: okay okay

Next thing I know the sprout is going to be expecting all his stuffed animals to have a little parade every time he squeezes out a dribble.

eco-pottying

I'm all for being green and using sustainable materials. Seriously. C'mon, my 7-month-old is quasi-potty trained. Admittedly, we have been spending a lot of time in the bathroom lately. (Someone hasn't learned the art of how to hold it.) Still, I can't see us ever getting one of these bamboo potty seats:Sometimes I think that people take living green to a ridiculously silly level. This would be right up there, maybe not at the top of the list of silly green things, but pretty high on the list. I think I'll go with the greenest eco-potty seat available - not having one. It's more fun watching your child fall into the toilet anyways.

From Growing Up Green.

adventures in potty training my 7-month old

You may remember this. Well, since then we have mostly been skipping the bucket step and holding the sprout directly over the toilet. One less thing to worry about cleaning. And he can't knock pee all over my bed from the toilet since the toilet is, well, stationary, in the washroom and not my bedroom.

I used to take a clothed baby into the bathroom, lay him on the floor, strip off his pants and diaper and then over the toilet we'd go. We had lots of success with this method. Success of the peeing and pooping kind, anyways. But my back was starting to ache from all the lifting up down up down. So I got cheeky.

Lately, if the sprout's been playing and needs to go I just strip him right there, in the living room, and then pick up a half naked baby, cheeks out for all the neighbours to see and walk to the bathroom. So far, so good. I've been doing this for about a month now.

Well, this afternoon I picked up a half naked baby and started to walk to the bathroom. On my way there I thought, "Gee, little sprout, you seem awfully warm..."

Yes, my half naked baby peed on me.

I was asking for it, wasn't I?

it was bound to happen

We've been trying to do a bit of EC. So we have a potty bucket for the sprout. It's just easier to toilet him wherever we are changing him. Which today, happened to be on my bed. Diaper off, holding him over the bucket, he peed. Yah!!! We sing our little song and do our little dance. Well, okay, there is no dance. But we do sing the song. Yes we are sad. (And NO I will not repeat the song.) I put him down so that I can get a wipe and move the bowl just out of arms reach because I wouldn't want him to knock it over...

And with a move demonstrating much more agility than a 5 month old should have, he made David Beckham proud (or any Brazilian professional soccer player, really). The sprout rolled over, kicked the bottom of the bucket -- like one of those sideways, airborne sort of World Cup caliber kicks -- sent the bucket spinning backwards off the bed, pee flying everywhere, and the bowl landed right-side-up on the floor. Umm... GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!! Because, really, what can you say to a 5 month old half naked baby lying there looking incredibly smug? Who, by the way, managed not to get a drop of pee on himself!

There's baby pee on my pillow. I predict more diaper changes are going to be occurring in the bathroom.

P.S. Comment for cans!

granola

I have come to the realization that we are rather granola. We cloth diaper... not just at home but on the plane, on our vacation. And because I don't like to change poopy diapers, I have been potty training my 4 month old. Yup, he poops in the toilet. I always thought that the change stations in the wheelchair washroom stall were silly, but now they are just so handy. They must make those just for me :) We eat lentils. We shop at the farmers market. The sprout plays with wooden toys. We don't own an exersaucer or a TV. Yup, rather granola.

The thing is, I like being granola.

Now I have to go and save the sprout from his wooden playgym. He's taken hold of one of the wooden rings and can't figure out how to let go. Silly boy.